I hated having to be the one to break the news. But heaven knows, they’d got used to seeing my mug plastered all over the plasma VDTs in the mall. I wondered if they’d notice how much of my speech was plagiarised.
Earthmen, earthlings, earthlies, earthers, lend me your ears;
I come to bury the past, not to resurrect it.
So let it be with our collective past.
You thought the Emperor was enlightened:
It was not so; it was a lie.
Now we live under our Reptilian Masters.
Come I to speak in The Emperor’s funeral.
He was my mentor once, constant and evenhanded:
But the Tzar says he was ruthless;
And the Tzar does not lie.
The Emperor hath brought many captives home to Earth
Whose ransoms did the federal reserves fill:
Yet the Emperor had a hidden agenda.
When the poor cried, the Emperor gloated and preened.
You all did see that on the night of the Oscars
The Lord Reptilian thrice presented him a crown,
Albeit in jest.
This he did thrice refuse, through spite, and mendacity?
The Tzar says the Emperor was ambitious and devious;
I speak to corroborate what the Tzar spoke,
Here I am to speak what I do know.
You all did love him once, because he fooled you all.
Yet now you must not mourn for him.
Oh, judgment! Thou art final, immutable, irrevocable.
Men must find their reason yet again. Bear with me;
My heart is happy, thinking of the future without the Emperor.
And I bow to our Reptilian Masters.
Thus are the mighty fallen.
It went down a treat. They must have thought it was part of the hoop-la. No one realised – or wanted to appear to have realised – that I was in earnest. As the spokeswoman for the Reptilian Masters, I had to keep deadpan. I knew that they were considered invasive alien species – but that, in reality they were Masters of the Universe.
Earth was nothing to them but a stop-gap – a place where to recruit (recruit did I say?) wombs for propagating their species, and dilute the genepool that had become stale through interbreeding.
It was business as usual for the Bodies that were hosting the Reptilian Masters. No one dared question what they did, and to whom, and how, and when. People disappeared without trace… only to turn up intermittently in different continents – older, or younger, with no explanation being offered. This wrought havoc with family bloodlines, of course – but families were now an alien (ha!) concept. Earth was under the rule of the Reptilian Masters. We were but pawns in their herpetofaunal invasiveness games.
The ecological, evolutionary, and economic future Mankind had striven for were now so much dust in the cosmic wind. I remember it as if it were yesterday, the statement from the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, to the effect that No evidence of aquatic humanoids has ever been found.
With hindsight, I can tell that the flippant reference to amphibious humanoid extraterrestrials – well, actually they were called mermaids and mermen so the hoi polloi could understand what was being said – had been made to divert attention from the landings of the Reptilian Masters and the first landings and colonisations in Malta where Atlantis used to be, and suppress the truth until the operation was going full steam ahead. Those who colluded – including the Emperor, have blood on their hands, and a special place in hell. Me? I was just the star turn of the plasma VDTs. I knew on which side my bread is buttered.
However, somewhere deep in my what-used-to-be-called soul, I had a nagging feeling that Mankind had not evolved to where it had arrived before the arrival of the Reptilian Masters, just so that they could find uteruses to exploit.
I had always been a film buff – and that is why my solution was straight out of Village of the Damned (if you want to know I think the re-make was silly).
My status as a star meant that I could go where I wanted – no questions asked. And since I was so much a part of the picture, no one paid attention to my comings or going. So I surreptitiously laced the Vitamin Smoothies of pregnant women with lavender, and when they gave birth all the Baby Reptilian bastards were stillborn.
To cut a long story short – that is why the Reptilian Masters moved on to the next habitable planet on the next galaxy.