To who it matter
As the man said, you aint’s seen nothing yet until you read the herewith enclosed, or rather attaché, typescript for a book about the Sceince and Art of Writing, at which I am the expert past master (mistress sounds so crass doncha thing?)
As I was saying, you don’t know what’s going to ht you right between them eyes, my man, but when you read my book about the Sceince and Art of Writing, you will have to admit that I am the be-all and end-all of experts in the field of the Sceince and Art of Writing.
As you might be saying, this person is a genius, and I want to sign her on the books at once. But before I even consider working with you, you have to tell me in Writing that you are willing to learn the ropes from me because I have been through your web-sight and I have found several typos that could not be misprints they are so silly. So for an additionally fees, I might as well correct your spelling and grammer.
As the orturs which I quote in my book say, you never no what you can do till you try and when I beganed Writing the book about the Sceince and Art of Writing, little did I know that I would come up with such a compendiuming of knowledge about the Sceince and Art of Writing.
As Dr Spock, of the child expert’s famousness said, not the one with the ears on Star Track, you know, he said you know more than you think you do. In my case this has been proven to be excellently truth because as you can see, I explain the Sceince and Art of Writing so well that nobody can approach me about it.
As my relatives and my friends to which I gave the manuscript to read kept repeating, it is a heck of a job to write so much about the Sceince and Art of Writing. Ha ha, I am not an scientist or a Artist but I managed to write 2,340 pages about the Sceince and Art of Writing, can you beat that of course you can’t.
As my mentor and consultant and best friend said, and I quoit him to make sure that you understand the worthy of my opera, “If you can get them to accept it for you, you will indeed be one happy bunny.”
As my aunty who lives in Malta says, their bunnies are not happy, because they eat them, poor things, they do the spagetti or the chips with them and they are so cute, the rabbits. But that has nothing to do with the Sceince and Art of Writing of course, but I wanted to tell you that I know the culinationary skills of the Malteses because my aunty, when she comed over for a holiday, she thought me how to cook the things of Malta kitches.