Nothing ever turns out right for me!
Inhale deeply and noisily. Groan. Grimace to show how miserable you are.
If this were a scene from a play, the script would read “sighs and lamentations”. It would have been our cue to say, in a concerned voice “Oh, poor soul, long-suffering, self-denying Romilda! What is it that’s bothering you? Shall I make you a cup of? Go and put your feet up; I shall see to what needs to be done, myself…”
Yet this is a phenomenon of everyday life. It would seem that there is a club to which people who actually like being depressed, belong. And like any organization, they have a set of regulations.
- Make sure you watch all the news bulletins on all the television stations you can. Tis keeps you informed of all accidents and earthquakes, and asteroids that explode when they come into contact with in the atmosphere, so you can speak knowledgeably of them.
- Spend long hours on social sites, especially Facebook. Thus, can you envy people who bought a new car, those who have gone on a trip, and those who have gobbled up a dozen (Maltese) cheesecakes. And there you are, moping within the same old four walls…
- Learn how to wreak revenge. If someone did you wrong, tell all the world, albeit sotto voce so that each person thinks he is your only confidante. Then raise your voice and say that today respect no longer exists.
- Contaminate others. Everyone knows that a Bad Mood Disease infects others more rapidly than Smile Syndrome. So like those people who clean the house before the cleaning lady calls, so that she does not gossip about them, make sure you always have something about which to grumble.
- Weigh yourself often, and go at least once a month to the doctor for a check-up. After all, if you lost weight, you might have got diabetes, or a thyroid condition – or maybe you are pregnant.
- Eat junk. In summer, who can be bothered to stand in front of the stove to cook? Who has time for that, anyway? So what if the garbage you eat give you indigestion? You’ll have something cut and dried about which to grumble. Indeed, such a diet, high in omega 6 and omega 3 low, creates a substantial disruption in the nerve functions. Who cares?
- Be negative. Why smile if it’s sunny? That kind of weather makes you feel dizzy, and will give you cancer. Why smile if it rains? Now everyone will be leaving footprints all over the clean floor, and the clothes will take forever to dry.
- Don’t get enough sleep. Otherwise, how can you cope with everything, seeing that nobody else but you does anything that need to be done? This is guaranteed to make you even more of an expert grumbler.
It is high time that we realise that we are responsible for our moods. We should not be saying “you make me sad / angry / mad / upset”. Yet this does mean that if we see a member of the aforementioned Club in need, we are not to nurture and help this person, if need be.
Let’s make it our mission to adopt them, albeit surreptitiously, and lead them away from despondency, depression, despair, and dejection.
Teach them to:
- Be positive. When you do something that is enjoyable, the body responds by creating chemicals that heighten your pleasure. Whether it is reading a book, seeing a film, sewing, knitting or doing crochet, the body’s reaction helps beat the temptation to grumble, as tends to happen in an idle and empty life.
- Have values. Material possessions will never make you totally content. You can allow your life experiences to make you or mar you. Be just and fair with everyone.
- Do volunteering. Show them what a wonderful thing it is to donate your time and talents, and to expect nothing in return – not even thanks. I know that there are places where, if you are not part of a clique, you cannot do this – but there are hundreds of others where everyone may lend a hand.
- Learn the art of appreciation. When you try and seek out the good, and make an effort to see the best in the other person, and in the situations obtaining, you will be a shining light unto others.
- Be authentic. When you lie, it weighs heavy on your mind. You fear that someone will suss you out. If you double-deal, it may come out even when you are not present somewhere, and someone mentions your name. This worry is extraneous – don’t go there.
- Love. There are things, chores that must necessarily be done… by us. So why not bite the bullet and smile, and get on with it?
And you – what do you think about this?