The letter, addressed to 5, Poppy Lane, changed everything.
It was inside an envelope inside an envelope.
The outer one was addressed to ‘To Whom It May Concern’, and the inner one was addressed to ‘My Soulmate’. Stuck to the inner envelope with adhesive tape was a note that read, ‘I assume this is for you’.
The letter read,
“What you need, you idiot, is to wake up and smell the coffee. Columbian, or Ecuadorian, it does not matter, as long as you focus. It will restore your inner sight, and give you back your power of reasoning. You left because you assumed I hate you. It’s not that I hate you – what I abhor is your obsession with me. I want you to be masterful; I want you to stand up to me, I want you to stop being a drip. Think Lauren Cooper and the new teacher of English. Oh, no, don’t get me wrong…I don’t want you to turn me into an immobile plastic doll. I want you to show me that you will not stand any more of my nonsense. I need you, I want you, and I love you… but I do not want you to be a doormat. Coffee is a placebo, really; it is something that will make your breath smell sweeter, and hint that I might even want to kiss you like I used to, if you finish the whole jar. It’s nice to have a brother who is a chemistry teacher, and a best friend who is a graphic designer, is it not? Knowing you, I know you will do it, because you said you are ready to do anything for me. But I do not want you to do anything for me. You are almost perfect just as you are. You are too nice for your own good. I want you to say no, once in a while. In want you to say you want a quiet night in if I insist we go to Frenchie’s. I want you to insist we order sushi when I want pizza. I want you to tell me not to cut my hair so short, when I ask your opinion… not just try and placate me by saying that whatever I want is whatever you want. You got the wrong end of the stick. You thought that by giving in to my every whim, I would eventually change my mind. Yet you told me that I hate you because you are obsessed with me. Oh, you silly goose – don’t you realise that you have the solution right there, in your very words? Look, I would feel humiliated to tell you all this – and you’d probably get a heart attack, so it wouldn’t be worth it anyway – but I will do my best to make you understand all this without calling you. I am using the written word so that you can read this again and again. There never was anyone else for me, ever since our paths crossed (in a manner of speaking) in the lift at University. Those first three months we spent together were heaven – and then for some weird reason you decided that the only way to keep me was to pamper me and pander to my whims. This is such a disappointment to me. Please understand what I am not saying. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, but I don’t want you to be my subordinate clause. See? You smiled.
Love,
Me
xxx
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